my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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