Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
