that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
