this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
