1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just tell him i said nine months
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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