She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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