so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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