drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
