Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
