He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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