To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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