i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
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