i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
