the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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