Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
