Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
