How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize