I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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