guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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