capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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