I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
