who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
