Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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