if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
