vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
