Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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