Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
