She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
