I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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