so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
