Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
