What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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