Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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