He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
