you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
