Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
