The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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