we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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