She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
