who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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