What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
