Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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