Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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