My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
