that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
