shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
