He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
