he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
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he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
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Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't want my vagina anymore.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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