it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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