please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I need water and some morals
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
