i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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