i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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