Im at strip club and am horny
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
