Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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