So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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