Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I got inside last night via doggy door
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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