WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
