someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
