yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
