ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
