My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
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My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
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trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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