Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
