That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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