I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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