i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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