I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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