My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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